I'm happy to say at the age of 36 I'm ready to let go of my preoccupation with weight. It's an overt and subconscious message pretty much everywhere you look in US media- magazines, movies, TV shows, social media- being thin is beautiful. Particularly with social media, it is rare I see a photo that isn't professionally staged to reveal the best possible angle for the poster.
In my 20's, being thin was very important to me, something always on my mind, especially living in New York City. In my 30's, I have chilled out, particularly since moving to Denver. I think one of the biggest factors in my chill out is environment. It's visceral what a difference NYC to Denver has in terms of the community around me, and how one interacts with that community.
What I have noticed is people are more present to their surroundings in Denver, and with that comes genuine care and compassion for the people around you, regardless if you are a size 0 or 10. I'm not trying to sit here in judgment as I can distinctly remember opening my NYC apt door at the same time as my neighbor with neither of us acknowledging the other's existence on this planet, let alone the island of Manhattan.
However I am thankful I have had the opportunity to evolve, and with that, my mindset on weight. With age and the new environment, I'm happy to report my goals have shifted to healthy and strong vs. stick thin with protruding collar bones. Particularly now as a pregnant woman.
I think Kate Moss said something like nothing tastes as good as skinny feels, well I'll tell you something Kate Moss, eating homemade ice cream on the couch with my supportive husband and our senior cat, 15 lbs heavier at 26 weeks pregnant feels pretty damn good.