I’ve tried to help an alcoholic stop drinking.

I’ve tried to force creative thinking and productivity on my tired brain.

I’ve tried to win the love of a married man.

I’ve tried convincing ski patrol to let me ski down the mountain after tearing my ACL.

I’ve tried to make my mom understand my broken heart at 17 years old.

I’ve tried telling myself I know, love and see you….all the while neglecting my body and heart.

I’ve tried to play it cool presenting to an entire company while inside sweating bullets.

I’ve tried to change the energy and desires of a close friendship.

I’ve tried convincing my boss that my opinion was better than hers.

I’ve tried to get my dad to speak to me in my love language, not his.

I’ve tried fitting in to new schools and new cities.

I’ve tried finding my self worth in a job and a paycheck.

I’ve tried to do it on my own.

I’ve tried so hard. So hard to please, to change, to convince, to be seen and to prove my worth.

It hasn’t worked, none of it.

What has worked is:

Patience.

Breath.

Accepting myself where I am, with space for who I may become.

Accepting others where they are, with space for who they may become.

Letting people into my heart and building relationships.

Receiving.

Moving my body.

Honesty with myself and others.

Working on my shadow.

Trusting my process.

My presence with myself and my life.

And committing to a lifelong journey and discovery of the relationship I have with myself and my connection to everything in this world.

xxx,
sjl